A Newfie and his missus are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbour's dog barking.
It had been barking for hours and hours. Suddenly the Newfie jumps up out of bed and says, 'I've had enough of this,' and he goes downstairs.
The Newfie finally comes back up to bed and his wife says, 'The dog is still barking. What have you been doing?'
The Newfie says, 'I've put the dog in our yard. Now let's see how they like it!'
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
The Newfie's Dog!
Monday, October 22, 2007
What is your Biblical IQ?
IT DOESN'T HURT TO HAVE A LITTLE BIBLICAL HUMOR ONCE IN A WHILE....
Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?
A. Ruthless.
Q. What do they call pastors in Germany ?
A. German Shepherds.
Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.
Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.
Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.
Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden ?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.
Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan The banks were always overflowing.
Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.
Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
A. Joshua, son of Nun.
Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark ?
A. Because Noah was standing on the deck. (Groan...)
PS. Did you know it's a sin for a woman to make coffee?
Yup, it's in the Bible. It says . . . "He-brews"
Rolly's Kitchen!!!
OVEN CRISP FISH
Cooking oil - 1/4 cup
Salt - 1/4 tsp
Pepper - 1/8 tsp
Seasoned salt - 1/4 tsp
Fish fillets, your choice - 1 1/2 lbs
Grated Parmesan cheese, sprinkle
Crushed corn flakes - 1/2 cup
Combine cooking oil, salt, pepper and seasoned salt in small bowl.
Brush both sides of fillets with oil mixture. Place fillets in shallow bowl. Pour remaining cooking oil mixture over top. Marinate for 15 minutes.
Remove fillets from marinade. Sprinkle lightly with Parmesan cheese. Dip in crushed corn flakes. Arrange in single layer in greased baking pan. If you line pan with greased foil, it helps with clean up. Bake in 450 F (230 C) oven for 12 to 15 minutes until fish flakes when tested with a fork. Serves 4.
*** A special treat. So tasty with Parmesan cheese. So crunchy with crushed corn flakes. Enjoy.
PS Dealer Dave, you can use your stone instead of pan!
*** If anyone tries this recipe, please give me your opinion.....
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
THE U IN JESUS!
Before U were thought of or time had begun, God stuck U in the name of His Son.
And each time U pray, you'll see it's true, You can't spell out JesUs and not include U.
You're a pretty big part of His wonderful name, For U, He was born; that's why He came.
And His great love for U is the reason He died.
It even takes U to spell crUcified.
Isn't it thrilling and splendidly grand
He rose from the dead, with U in His plan?
The stones split away, the gold trUmpet blew, And this word resUrrection is spelled with a U.
When JesUs left earth at His upward ascension, He felt there was one thing He just had to mention.
"Go into the world and tell them it's true That I love them all - Just like I love U."
So many great people are spelled with a U, Don't they have a right to know JesUs too?
It all depends now on what U will do,
He'd like them to know,
But it all starts with U.
--Author Unknown
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
WHO IS JESUS?
In chemistry, He turned water to wine.
In biology, He was born without the normal conception.
In physics, He disapproved the law of gravity when He ascended into heaven.
In economics, He disapproved the law of diminishing return by feeding 5000 men with two fishes and 5 loaves of bread.
In medicine, He cured the sick and the blind without administering a single dose of drugs.
In history, He is the beginning and the end.
In government, He said that he shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Prince of Peace.
In religion, He said no one comes to the Father except through him;
So. Who is He? He is Jesus! The greatest man in history.
Jesus had no servants, yet they called Him Master.
He had no degree, yet they called Him Teacher.
He had no medicines, yet they called Him Healer.
He had no army, yet kings feared Him.
He won no military battles, yet He conquered the world.
He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him.
He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Forgiveness
To forgive
Is not to forget.
To forgive
Is really to remember
That nobody is perfect
That each of us stumbles
When we want so much to stay upright
That each of us says things
We wish we had never said
That we can all forget that love
Is more important than being right.
To forgive
Is really to remember
That we are so much more
Than our mistakes
That we are often more kind and caring
That accepting another's flaws
Can help us accept our own.
To forgive
Is to remember
That the odds are pretty good that
We might soon need to be forgiven ourselves.
That life sometimes gives us more
Than we can handle gracefully.
To forgive
Is to remember
That we have room in our hearts to
Begin again
And again,
And again.
~~ Author Unknown ~~
Just A Thought
"The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps, the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention. And, especially, if it's given from the heart."
--Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen
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